Category: Dating and Relationships
How do all of you guys feel about size? Girls of course can answer this as well. Now, we're not talking about that age-old "Does size matter question?". We're talking about body size. Men, if a girl is overweight, but well-groomed, hygenic, can move easily and gracefully and dresses well, caring about her appearance, does the size of her hips, tummy, brests, bottem, waist and overall body matter to you? If so, how much? Be honest, don't worry about offending and there are no wrong answers here. We're looking for frank, blunt, honest answers to this question.
If there over 130 pounds I won't go out with them unless there over 5 8.
I don't think I'd be much into very slender people, but to me, I wouldn't mind if a guy was a little overweight, as long as he could still move around. I would preffer him to be taller than me anyway (I'm 5 feet). But I know later if weight became an issue because of health, that is something that can always be worked on if it gets to that point.
Not a bit I much prefer a rodinesque figure to that of a stick insect, also a very hard muscular body, on a man and/or woman, turns me right off.
Yes size is important. The person i am with has to have a bigg heart. In other words nice personality caring etc. So i don't care about size really lol.
Size is a litle important, but looks aren't everything, like, for example, if they weigh a lot but have a great personality, and they can move around well then I'm OK with it.
Nice varried responses, let's keep 'em coming.
I like Nikos' response, heart matters.
However, I prefer a girl to be average size or smaller, but, that preference can be overcome as soon as she says something. If what she says is thoughtful and intelligent, then I don't care if she is as big as a house. But, if she is the beauty of my dreams, and opens her mouth and is profane to a fault, or loud, or self-centered, then forget it.
Bob
I can honestly say size really doesn't have any baring on my evaluation, provided they take care of themselves hygenically. I'm much more interested in their personality, inteligence and sense of humor.
Aw, so many unshallo guys. YZY!
Hi everyone,
I think that body size doesn't matter near as much as other things, but that if you find the girl with the right persoanlyity, that she usually looks physically fine as well.
If not, then I'd take persoanality, morals, and values over body type any day. We all get old and crotchety eventually, lol.
I could care less about the size also. Its the personallity that matters the most. If one is going to put body size over heart size, then that is shallow. Think about it. Body size can be worked on. The personallity is something you're gonna have to live with for the rest of your life (Especially if you are looking twoard marage), so better to judge on the inside. Remember the old saying? Its what's on the inside that counts. Smile.
John
I think bigger is better as long as he's not as big as a house. My preference is taller guys. I don't like the scrawny look much. Yuck. I also agree with Goblin ... hard muscular bodies don't do anything for me, either. And obviously, I care about personality and all that jazz, so if I'm attracted to who they are, I'll most likely be accepting of their physical appearance.
Good thoughts all. Oy vay, that YZY was supposed to be YAY, Y A Y, not Y Z Y. That's alright, I've been a little dislexic in my typing lately. Tired fingers, too many piano lessons. lol
As stated in other posts, I am an unabashed BBW/SSBBW admirer. Eg, I add 100lbs when I sing that song from South Pacific: "201 pounds of fun, that's my little honeybun"... And to misquote Carole King from Will You Still Love me Tomorrow: "I can't believe the magic of your size"! I offer as justification for my obsession with size, the fact that I'm not greatly interested in sex.
I do however expect a large woman to dress tastefully and be a lady in public; size is no excuse for dressing tartishly or loud and brash behaviour.
I'm not totally shallow in this reverse discrimination. If my wife decided to go on a diet and lose half her bodyweight (which would be better for her health) I would not leave her because she was now "only half the woman I married"... My wife has a beautiful heart and a warm, generous and giving nature; and that's what really matters. It just happens that as long as I've known her, she's always been big, which was the thing I found attractive....
If only more men thought like that, or, well, close to that about women's figures.
Well as much as I'd love toe sit here and not sound shallow, I think to an extent, size does matter to me. Now I'm not saying someone who's a little overweight is out of the question, but I honestly don't think I'd ever date someone who was obiese (I probably spelled that wrong). This is not to say that if I fell in love with a guy, I would forget about him if he was overweight. It's just that right now, sitting where I am I don't think I'd date someone who's very overweight
Love conkers all. Need I say more?
John
Okay, Heather, other people have posted, now it's your turn. After all, you did start this topic...
just an observation, but I really don't think that girls worry about their body shape because of what guys think. I mean if we look at the evidence, guys round here don't care much, guys I know who are sited, don't seem to notice, and my fiance want's me to put on some pounds, while I know I never will because I don't like my shape already. Want to know why? Because for my entire life, the women in my family have been rather focused on being skinny and sexy. As soon as I beafed up a bit when I was a teenager, there was talk of me going on a diet, and why? Now I don't know, I have never been bigger than a size 10, and in US sizes, that's a 6 I think, and I'm 5:2. It's just the perception that we as women put out, nd get back, from other women. Tiny waste, big boobs, firm but. That's how it is. I don't like it, but I'm damned if I can escape it. how do you other girls feel?
Yeah. I think it's more society in general/advertising or something that influences girls (as well as girls influencing each other) as to how they should look. My sister always seems to comment on weight and appearance (plus I'm sure the media may have some part), so my niece and even my nephews are picking up on it to where my niece (who is only 6) sometimes won't eat as much as she should and my oldest nephew (who is 11) sometimes thinks he needs to loose weight even when he isn't at all much overweight. My sister also comments on my weight and appearance which sometimes gets to me. I know I am a little overweight but I am still able to move around easily, but when she comments on how I need to loose weight or wear certain types of clothes to improve my shape/appearance, it makes me feel self-conscious and wonder if other people are judging me by that as well. Although I know she may mean well for me, I think the only reason I would lose weight (aside from what she says), is for my health, since diabetes runs especially in my dad's side of the family.
No John, you don't. That's the funniest mis-spelling I've seen for a LONG time lmao
I agree with Ash. I'd love to say that no, size doesn't matter at all and it's completely a matter of personality, but it's not, at least for me. That's not to say that size is overly important to me, but I wouldn't date someone who was extremely overweight, no matter how well they handled themselves. To me, it's a question of how much they care for themselves, and if a person is quite a bit overweight, that (to me) says that they don't care enough about their physical appearance to get it under control. If there's a legitimate reason for their obesity, then that's a different matter, of course.
And my family is also very into the whole slim and sexy thing. My mom, for example, stresses constantly because she thinks she's fat, and she's constantly going on about her lovehandles and such, but she's not overweight at all. My sister freaks out about the pooch of her stomach, but she could stand to gain some pounds. My aunt actually wants to have surgery done to reduce her size (except for her breasts, which she wants increased). It irritates me to no end, because there are so many people who really are overweight, and dangerously so, and who need to do something about it, and no one in my family (except the women on my dad's side) are in that category. They tell me it's easy for me to say, because I've only gained five pounds in the last five years, but even if I weighed quite a bit more, I'd feel the same way. It's important, and does contribute to how I judge a person, but it's not the primary concern and never should be.
Nice sentiment John. Ok. I do think that men's perceptions of women effect how women feel about their weight and their bodies. It's society, meaning men and women that determines what is quote unquote attractive and or acceptable. I don't think that men's opinions and attitudes are solely responsible for how women feel about their bodies, but I do think that it makes a very deffinit difference. I personally care more about the texture of the skin. No outragiously hairy guys, but none with girly hairless legs and chests either. I like soft touchable, kissable, strokeable skin, regardless of if it's firm or not so firm underneeth and regardless of what size or shape frame it is stretched over. If a man is so over weight that he can't walk properly and make love then that's a real problem, but that would be a rather extreme case. I don't care overly much about muscles either. As long as he can pick up dogs and cats, a laptop case and small children that's fine, he doesn't have to have perfectly toned thies or butt or abs. Personally I think a little bigger guy is more to hug, more to hold and more to massage and explore. I am in the proccess of loosing weight and have lost a noticeable amount lately. I am doing it for my partner, but I am also doing it for me. There's nothing wrong with using your partner's respect and admiration as motivation for self improvement, as long as that isn't your sole reason for wanting to change some aspect of your body or mind.
I'll only date guys who are slim built and have alot of muscle. No potbellies!
Then honey you may be missing out on a great guy with a wonderful personality and an avid mind who is great in bed, a wonderful conversationalist and intelligent and talented someday just because he's a little heavy. You may want to re-think that. Just saying.
To Babygirl16,
What a shalow shallow aditude!
John
+
Joh, of course by focusing so much on a personality you might be missing out on a very nice looking and reliable girl, judging bypersonality is also a matter of preference and can therefore also be called shallow. For one thig obeasity is dangerous and in general we seem to have replaced the gym with chatting online, long walks with tv watching and the greatest work out one gets today is picking up the mouse if it falls on the floor (except blindies who don't care bout where the mouse is). And the eating habits hve gotten worse and worse, ever noticed how soft drinks are coming in ever larger sizes, if you get a large coke at McDonnalds you could well expect a group of dolphins swimming in the layers near the bottom. That being said I think it's important to be active, work out, realize one's body is important. That's not the same as going on super diets, buying pills and hoping to lose weight while you sleep (don't quite get that). If people balance the working out with fairly healthy food I don't have problem with the body type, it could be a little large or not. I know when I'm being a slob and it certainly happen but I do think me and everyone else know when to turn things around and I, for oe thing, want my fiance's support when I feel the need to do this. Thus, having a preference does not make one shallow, allowing your partner to live so unhealthy you may lose him/her 10 years earlier than necessary or evern more is not being open minded, neither is eating one carrot a day and feel guilty if you add a table spoon of cottage cheese on top.
cheers
-B
Of corse it all comes into play, but my point was is that Babygirl16 only looking at it from the looks point of view could be missing out, too. You can't have everything, so hopefully you get the best of both worlds, or be willing to bend. But I would say that personallity is most important. Isn't it easier to change looks then change personallity?
John
Okay I'm not shallow and I've dated heavier women and slender women, so don't get uptight yet. *smile*
Size does matter to me. I take lots of pride in my physical being and wish more people would. Health is the first concern. A girl that's to fat and I don't mean a few pounds over, but say a girl that is 5 feet tall, but weighs say 160 or more is way to fat. She could have a great personality, but I just can't get into her physically. I don't like way to thin eather. Physical fitness is king to me and I believe it shows that a person cares about themselves.
Now for these that can't do anything about their weight is different, but these people are vary few. It be like saying "your blind, so see then I'll like you." If it it's that way then understanding is needed, but like I've stated that is the vary few. Get in to shape people.
Also I'm vary muscled, but soft to the touch. Firm is what it is and if a person is hard there probably skinny not muscled
Shallow..
I agree with what was stated above, to the effect that, "One's personality, talents and intelect is who they are: their appearance can always be changed, with out changing who they are, but if a potential partner is simply not intelligent, is not tallented or has a nasty, vapid or self serving personality that can not be changed. I'd much rather have the beautiful sole, the beautiful mind and the beautiful heart with the face of the phantom of the opera and the body of the pilsberry doe boy. I'd like to think that I have my priorities strait. If someone was seriously, dangerously, encredibly overweight I'd want them to loose wait, for their health but not for esthetic reasons.
Now if I could just find a girl who thought like similarly. I myself am somewhat overweight mainly due to medical reasons. I find that the hesitation to consider dating someone who is larger does not rest on the heads of men alone. I find that I am shunned by women because of my size too. Personally for my view I actually prefer a woman with a little extra padding. several decades ago veluptuous womem were actually sought after, rather than the reverse we see in culture today. A full figured woman was found atractive one because that generally meant she would be good at having children and two that it meant that her family was well off enough to eat three or four square meals. Now don't get me wrong ladies, I am not saying that woman' purpose in life is to be a baby factory. However 100 years ago things were different and that was a highly sought factor.
He's back.
I see that most of these post supporting the "I don't care" assume people who take care of themselves will have poor personalities, and that is far from the truth. I've met some people who don't care about there appearance and they have the worst personalities to go with that.
So you can't say "I'm really going to have a great person, because he'/she's a bit overweight." Not true.
The poster before me points out that 100 years ago full figured women were saught after. No why other then then things he stated, these women were actually vary fit. They eat well, they did many outside activities, such as gardning, traveling by foot, lifting, even building things, which made them look full figured. They didn't sit around and grow fat.
Opinion is taste and shallow is simply that. Fit is fit and unhealthy is unhealthy. Again I like them fit. *smile* and I'm sorry changing a unfit person into a fit one after the fact is just as difficult as trying to change ones personallity. So ladies and gents hook up with the dough boy/girl that's most likely what you'll continue to have.
Cheers.
No one said that a person who is over weight is automatically going to have a better personality than someone who is not. No one said that a fit, athletic skinny person would inevidably be lacking in intelligence or personality. It was only said that if the choice were to be made between intelectual and emotional traits versus physical traits that the physical traits would fall to the background, while the personality and mind would predominate in the decission making proccess.
Yes I do note that some have posted personality is most important, but these of use who have stated size does matter should not be scene as shallow. Now in post 24 you state if a guy was hairy he'd be a turn off, why, if he had a great personality would he not be exceptible? Poster 15 likes them larg and that's cool. In post 16 you say "ah so many unshallow guys. In another post you state your loosing weight, why your personality won't be changed right? *smile* Once more I say size matters. I see keeping fit as a part of ones personality and not shallow. In America we've got people trying to sue food providers for making them fat. As people age the lazy lifestyle causes heart trouble, high blood pressure, strokes, and all manner of self induced health problems, and instead of taking the plaim on themselves they want to sue McDonalds. "I like them fit." If you ask a question such as this you must take it on the chin when people like me state size matters.
*one step back, no progress.*
Hugs.
There's also a difference between size and Size with a capital S. I'm on the heavy side and I'm pretty damn strong. I can lift all of my friends and carry them and can also wrestle a large dog on to it's back. I'm not going to make any track teams, but if there was a natural disaster and I had to run I'd make it quite a ways. Size doesn't matter to me at all and the Size of the capital S only matters so far as I wouldn't want to loose the person prematurely because of weight related health problems. I hope that clarifies things a bit better. As for someone being hairy, or having some other physical trait that I didn't particularly care for, I mentioned this for two reasons. One, to illistrate that I do have preferences, if not rigid guide lines as to how someone would look in my ideal situation. And, Two, to show that weight fell further down on my list of preferences than several other things. Alll of which matter little next to personality and intelligence.
My oppinion is that people should care about there size in the sense that they should take an interest in there overall health. Personality is the most important thing in a person, but if someone doesn't care about themselves, how can they care about someone else. If you don't take the time to look after your well-being, then you have nothing to give to your partner. I like all kinds of people, but there personality can also reflect the amount of energy they put towards taking the time to present themselves as being well off.
That is why personal hygine is important to me, if someone enjoys food a bit too much, "no such thing in my book" or spends more time in intelectual persutes then in physical activity that's fine. But their grooming demonstrates how much they care about their well beeing and their health. For me, at least, hygene is a farely good indication of this.
Ok, I too have dated big and small women, size really does not matter to a point but if I had a choice between two females with a great personality and everything else I would go for someone that is more in shape, I do find myself more sexually attractive to a petite woman.
I also do think size does matter to a certain extent. I mean, seriously, don't you think it would be hard if you dated someone who had a great personality but couldn't find yourself attracted to them at all? I'm not saying the way they look is like the most important thing, but, at least to me, it does matter, the way they look, the way they take care of themselves, how sexually compatible they are. That all matters to me in some way, shape or form. Oh by the way, I tend to like tall, guys, oh, and muscular is a plus too, hahaha.
Ah I'm happy to see that I'm not alone here. Doesn't mean I'm right, just that preference is a choice not a crime. *smile* I also note it's not only a guy thing, but some ladies have express, fit is more sexually atractive. And I must say if we're talking sexually, smaller, fitter people are easier to move about and can move about easier. Also on the same note it's been scientificly proven that fit people stay sexually interested longer in life then their less fit counters, but that's another topic.
I thought about this for a while. I think in some cases size could matter. I have dated ladies skinny and on the heavy side. I prefer someone around my wait or just may be a little heavier. Now to be clear, I have dated girls heavier but the weight was well distributed and they took excellent care of themselves. Let's face it, we all have our own picture of what we want in the oppisote sex, but to judge just on size well that's narrow minded, although, If I can't reach around to hug a girl, sorry, I like to be held and holding someone in return.
So I do have limits, but I bet I am not the only one Great topic!!
Ok, the attraction thing. I can be attracted to a guy who is over-weight, a little or a lot, but it is the hygeen that is a deal breaker. There have been guys I have known who were intelligent, kind and amusing, and also over-weight, but their over all skin texture and or scent was what turned me off. The most common thing to drive me away would be the breath or the body scent. The only time that weight would turn me off is if it was so great that it made them unable to keep up with me on a walk down the street, caused them to sound sort of out of breath on a quasi-regular basis, or if it inhibited them in bed. Incidentally, it is much more comfortable to lay on the chest of a guy who is not a stick, and can put one much more at ease while engaging in the woman-on-top position if the guy doesn't look as if he will be snapped in half. I guess the best physical measure is this, if a guy is heavy enough, that is stomach sticking out, that I can't hug him and lean against him, lean into him, press up against him or reach at least most of the way around his back then something is very, very wrong and it is out of the question.
Well I'm a very tactile and touch-feely guy so I like to have a lot to touch and feel. Personally, I think that curves are totally natural and far more womanly than an ironing board physique. The more there is to stroke, squeeze, tease and explore, the better!
Right on.
Well, you can meet the world most lovely andintelligent hippo but if there is no sexual attraction there will be little to no chance of a happy relationship. After all the sexual tension and involvement is what separates friends and lovers, at least a big part of that distinction.
It's not a big turn on for me to know my lover could carryme out along with my in laws in case of an emergency. So, call me mr Shallow but attraction is important for me and overweight people just don't do it for me. They may make quite a splash in somebody else's life (or pool) and that's good for them.
cheers
-B
Well I thought I’d throw my two cents in here. Size doesn’t really matter to me…a small figure is nice but it’s also nice to have plenty to put your arms around. What’s more important, as has already been covered pretty much, is personality. A chick who could make me feel special by factors other than their body would have me over one drop-dead gorgeous girl with a heart like a porcupine. The sexual attraction is pretty important, but it’s also important to want to be in her company doing things of a less sexual nature, especially if you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Just my thoughts.
Steve
well, lots of great opinions but there have been people that judge on lack of hair, not being able to see, to skinny and so much more. I agree with Heather stay clean and of course for health reasons you would want the person to loose weight. again we all judge whether we all want to admit to it or not!!
I belong to the so-called shallow people. Yes, many things are more important than physical appearance, but if there is no physical attraction, I'd definitely see that as a deficit of the relationship.
In that case Susanne if your attracted to Wildebrew i think he's the sited one in the relationship and your really blind.
1. I said I would regard it as a deficit, and not that I wouldn't be in the relationship :-). 2. I don't want to know how exactly you formed your opinion on Wildebrew's looks...
Just kidding!
Oh Jared is just jealous. After all we spend some lonely time with a considerable amount of booze in Seattle and you were on the other side of the world.
*grin*
Now, I can see all sides to this... I like a guy who at least tries to keep himself looking good - not just by working out, but he should also smell & dress nice... I really dont care for too heavy men - but as foreel said I dont like too skinny or short men either... So basically it is a preference... Yes, personality is a good thing to have for anyone... big, skinny, fit, or average... good luck in your pickins...
Size doesn't matter, as long as they have brain cells.
Size doesn't matter if the chemistry is there.
I'm 5,9 and 160 dressed. I like women my height or shorter and I like someones weight to be less than mine. lol. shallow? maybe but it's what I am attracted to I've been an equal opertunity guy so far and it's just not appealing to me anymore!
I'm 5.7 and 195 pounds. I don't mind chubby/fluffy girl as long as she's healthy and active with a sweet heart.
and all of you keep in mind that "love is blind".
Raaj.
I am not chubby and fluffy and plan to stay that way, lol. I dunno how you people can just be like oh size doesn't matter blablabla, maybe I'm being shallow and what not but for reals, you gotta have some sort of physical attractiveness, which believe it or not includes weight...
1. Physical/sexual chemistry matters. So does personality, but the presence of one doesn't cancel out the importance of the presence of the other.
2. I dated a guy who was as thin as I am and that was extremely awkward. I likewise cannot imagine myself being attracted to a man who is very overweight. It is true that some people are genetically or medically predisposed to being on the larger side, but I don't view being extremely overweight as always being beyond the person's control. It's all a part of taking care of one's self, and that includes trying to be healthy all round. A fantastic personality doesn't mean I'd throw physical/sexual attraction to the wind--for both men and women. Because let's face it: personality can't deepthroat.
I agree with the last poster. Good personality and great chemistry does make it work, but would you like to be seen with someone who doesn't take care of himself? No way, being overweight can be controlled. If the person works out daily and knows how to discipliene his eating habbits, his weight won't bother him as much as those who are coach potatoes annd doesn't work out. I know it may sound wrong, but seriously, you got to have standards or at least a few qualities you look for as far as appearance wise. I know its kind of hard for people especially if they cannot see the other person, but hey, you don't want to be seen with someone who doesn't take care of himself. Thats just my opinion, i hope I'm not offending anyone.